My better half drove me crazy this weekend. It was the first time in many moons that I had to actually 'get tough' with her. Usually I turn the cheek like the good book says but the Devil Woman herself took it too far. It was if she herself had eaten the apple from the Garden of Eden. The disaster weekend all started Friday morning when I was getting ready to start my day. I kiss my better half good-bye and wish upon her a great day. I proceed to wash my face and then to latter lather up my shaving cream to get rid of the 5 o'clock shadow. There is only one problem I could not find my razor. I looked everywhere, underneath the counter, the medicine cabinet, the closet near the sink and I still could not find it. I even went to check the gym bag in the trunk of my car. I thought I was going crazy. So I decided to just forget about shaving and hop into the shower. As I'm entering the shower I turn my head to the left and I see my razor sitting right next to Satin Silky Shaving Cream.
As my luck would have it that was the last razor blade I had. There has been nearly 100 different conversations about razor usage in our home and each time it ends with my better half apologizing and saying "I'm sorry honeyyyyyyy, I wont do it again". Well she usually always does it again but this time she had gone to far. After I exit the shower I went to brush my teeth and guess what no damn tooth paste. The container was empty and the Devil Herself just left it out instead of replacing it or giving me a warning. I sometimes wonder if she does this to me on purpose. So I get a new tube of tooth paste out from the hall closet and proceed to brush my teeth and get ready to head to train at Claudio Franca's gym. I grab my car keys off the table near the front door but the opener for the front gate is missing. Without the gate opener I cannot get back into our housing community. So it was another darn thing I had to look for. I tore apart the couch and kitchen looking for the stupid circular black clicker and I could not find it. Suddenly my phone rings just once. I had just received a new text message and guess from who? If you guessed from the Devil Herself you are correct. The text message says "Hey honeyyyyyyyyy I took your clicker I couldnt find mine". This was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
I texted her back "thanks" and took off out the door to go and train. Training calmed my nerves and allowed for the anger to release from my body. Once I left the gym I felt like a new person with a fresh start on the day but just then my phone rings once and just once. I had received another text message from you guessed it the Devil Herself it reads "hey honeyyyyyy, hope u r day is going great my parents are coming into town tonight and want to meet up for dinner".
Well what can I say it was one of those days? We had planned to head up to San Francisco and watch the Giants play but since her parents are now coming, those plans are shot. Her parents are very conservative Hispanics and really do not approve of us living together and they always ask why we chose not to follow the Catholic Church. I always dodge this damn question with the simple answer of ”I pray to the football gods every Sunday but your daughter would love to go". My better half’s parent’s usually just smile then they try to talk her into going with them. I honestly wish she would go sometimes it would give me a little free time on my Sunday afternoons.
So when my better half finally gets home from work, I had a few words for her. I told her that "I did not want to accompany her parents to dinner but rather head to the city and watch the Giants". The Devil Herself was a little taken back by this and reply’s "great I'll ask my parents if they want to go too". I honestly could not believe she was doing this to me. When she asked her parents if they wanted to go of course they said "yes" because who would turn down such a sweet invite. This really pissed me off. I just wanted a nice peaceful Friday and all I got was a grief filled day and an itchy beard because my girlfriend was out of her mind.
When the Devil Herself finally got off the phone I told her all about my day and how upset she was making me. At first she really did not care but when I brought up how Giants games are like are special time together she got a little sentimental which I was hoping for. Are first date was at a Giants game over a year ago so when ever we go it brings back fond memeories. She then states "Honeyyyyyy, I'm sorry let me call my folks and tell them we cannot go and just you and I will go". When I heard my better half say that my day instantly improved 100 percent. I was so happy that I was lost for words. You better believe that the Devil Herself heard about the razor issue on the way to San Francisco though over a nice cold Heineken. Other than that my Friday turned out a lot better then I thought.
New Definitions Used This Week:
Internal Validity= when a factor other than the independent variable changes the dependent variable. Usually takes place when topical issues when research was unaccounted for.
Selection Bias= when the characteristics of the experimental and control group differ
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After reading this post, I feel compelled to point out a few things. First, it seems that you need to review your biblical scholarship...because the last time I checked, the tree that Eve ate from in the Garden of Eden was not the Devil tree, but the Tree of Knowledge. One could conclude, then, that if your girlfriend had, in fact, eaten from said tree she would not have transformed into any kind of evil devil woman, but would instead be crazy smart. Second, it seems that there are rampant contradictions throughout your post. You continue to refer to her as the Devil Herself whilst also calling her your better half? Does this mean that a) you are making up this load of crap for your professor, or b) are you just an idiot? I'll let you decide. Finally, I would like to point out for the benefit of all who are reading these posts that you claim to have a girlfriend. But, I wonder, if the girlfriend you claim to have knows that you also like to date others. It seems that your cougar obsession has not ended. As you can see, I find many falsehoods housed in your uninteresting and pointless ramblings. I hope that you have found this feedback helpful and instructive.
ReplyDeleteThanks!